So yeah

I cant wait for a number of things and the top 2 are Steph coming down to visit & my 16th birthdayy because I can go for my L which I should be studying for.

The other stuff I can't wait for is my lovely older sister Leaha Louie to move back home only for a little while but atleast I can see her more often before she moves t the states : (.

yikes!!!

i acciendtly scratched gta 4 pretty badly and now it wont wrok need to get it asap

is.

im so mad just cause i walked away from you not my little sister doesnt mean you can not let me see her. you freaking wh***.

Another thought.

Am I closing myself out or am I pushing away? I don't have the feeling of wanting to talk to anyone and that I feel safer not talking to anyone. Then I don't have to worry about what they think.

I will not be another drop-out.

I am going to try everything I can to pass mt last two classes

Thanks for ruining my life

i hate that you only talk to my brother.i guess you really didnt want a daughter just sons just do that they can be just fucking like you. you dont know much im disgusted by you i atleast thought you woud try but no your not and if you ever read this i wanted to have a relationship with you not that i feel ready too but you dont so saty the hell out of my life.

...

What is home?
“A roof to keep out the rain?
Four walls to keep out the wind?
Floors to keep out the cold?
Yes, but home is more than that.
It is the laugh of a baby,
the song of a mother,
the strength of a father,
warmth of loving hearts,
lights from happy eyes,kindness, loyalty, comradeship.
Home is first school and first church for young ones,
where they learn what is right, what is good, and what is kind,
where they go for comfort
when they are hurt or sick;
where joy is shared and sorrow eased;
where fathers and mothers are respected and loved,
where children are wanted;
where the simplest food is good enough for kings because it is earned;
where money is not as important as loving-kindness;
where even the tea kettle sings from happiness.
That is home. God bless it!”

- Anon.

its been awhile..

i miss U.S alot and i will never get to see him what made me be reminded U.S by was some post on my funwall by myself on my other account and i started to miss him and then i started crying because i know i will never get to see him again. i wish that i could spend one more day with U.S. i would just about give anything to get to spend just one more day with U.S.

I dont like doing to this to myself bu i dont know what else to do he was family and

its hard to lose a family member

An ordinary day

Today was somewhat weird I guess. In planning nothing special. in science i finally found out my test score which was really bad i passed with only 2 grrr.... In spanish i had a test/quiz which i know i failed and in p.e. i had to run 6 laps grrr...... and now i have nothing to do *sigh*

Finally

i finally got to see leaHa yesterday know today i get to see shayLa haha so happy havent seen her in over week.lasttime i saw it was the last sunday of spring break. so very happy =] =] =]

I need a new life...=[

I hate my life right now its been really crappy...maybe just a new one just so i can forget everything in this one.

Book

I just finished reading this book called "My Sister's Keeper" by Jodi Picoult. It's about this thirteen year old girl who's older sister has this rare kind of lukemia and she doesn't want to help anymore after her mom wants her to give her older sister one of her kidney's. So, she finds a lawyer and files medical emanipation from her parents and her mom was a lawyer once so she reprents herself and her husband. I am not going to say anymore or I just might accidentlly tell you the whole book, but what I was trying to say is that the ending is very sad and it made me cry for such a long time.

I dislike my house!!

I begining to hate being at home I just really want to move out. Maybe move in with T. + S because I am hating it at home. I hate slyvester and my brothers(but I still love them). I might ask T. if I can only for like a few weeks, only so I can like take a breather from home.

so confused =[

Why can't I ever get the guys I like straight. It's like one week its one guy. Then the next its some other guy. I am really starting to hate this, but there is this only one guy I really like and its R. Anyways I might be getting this piercing done and its called the labret.Hopefully I get it and if I do it might hurt just a little bit.haha Tell me what you think about it.Please and thank you.=]

hmm..

i have been thinking and because of this thinking i probably won't be going anywhere and i will be stayong home all of this spring break other than seeing tracey and shayla(for all of you don't know shayla is my lil sis.)Thats all.Later.

rawr!!

ipods dont deserve my uncondiotional love

last night

that dance last night was so much fun.. i think it was for some of thr goody2shoes to mess up royaly..that word looks funny...anyways other than that the other thing that kinda messed up my time was some boy who must not be named is a fraking lier..and i hate liers even if that includes me because i lie sometimes too.but this guy i am over him now.

Its been awhile

So, tuesday night was just a little bit crazy for my emotions. i guess if you where there you would might know what i'm talking bout.

on the other hand everytime i see R. i fall for him even farther fom than before.

.Confused.

what should i do. im so confused. its about spring break. should i go to olympia or stay here or go to chealis and see my cousins??

v.day

i dont like v.day =[ its sad hah for you who dont know what it means it is Singles Awarness Day

hmmm...

why is it hard for me?? i guess maybe it shouldn't happen.

This is an old one that didn't get published haha

my life is so boring haha jking..i went dress shopping todayy with C cause im her greeter at her wedding =] im v. happy bout that because im the very first person theyy see =] makes me even more happy. i found 2 dresses that i like very much. the 1st dress that i like might be a bit too expensive for me =[. haha sundayy was a good dayy cause i sat beside R. how patheic can i get haha ignore that one.

green contact lenses =]

i finally got my green contact lenses todayy =]. im wearing them right now but my eyes are dry and its bugging me like crazyy. i was playing scrabble until 1 last night with J. and he won the game last night =[. thats okayy. so right now its hard for me too sleep since i slept untill 12. hah like 20 minutes after i woke up i went out with my mom =]. my dayy was pretty simple im happy bout that. cant wait for R. day me crystal made that one upp. haha good times.

sleeping almost the whole day continued

so where was i ? ahh... mo i remeber haha. i was doing my spanish homework and thats when R had to come by haha its not bad but my train of thoughts just stopped. eek not good. well anyways i started to do things wrong but luckly i was using a pencil. so quit doing it and there was nothing really to do because i was way early even for me. but there were other people there too but no the ones i usually talk with or just hang out with. but anyways i was so hungry cause i hardly ate that day. and they were eating around me too wahh haha. well more people were showing up but they weren't the person i wanted to talk to either but thats okayy. finally the person i wanted to talk to was B. anyways we were talking and she said how it was hard for you like someone and how it hurts so much and i totally agree with her. well as it goes on we go up to the benches or whatever you want to call them, and they do annocements and we head to the gym to play a game and believe me those games for my or pretty fun. and i got knocked over by some guy. and my partner who i was with got out by N. haha. and we went back downstairs after like two rounds of the game. and we started to sing and we and B where still talking about that. anyways i might just hang out with R. I also told my friends that i like this guy named N. Anyways thats just it no more about that day its overr now.

List

so my sister made this list right and she told me to do one too. this might take awhile as it seems im eating fries with mayo and ketchup.its good trust me.
so here it is:
sleeping and eating and school and reading really awsome books and walking my dog and feeling the suns warmth on my skin and talking to my sister and listening to music and talking in general and singing and acting silly and crying and and camping and looking at the stars and being confused and being alone and swimming and hugging and listening and liking someone and smiling like an idiot and drinking(juice pop and water) and being with friends and asking question you cant really get answers for and doodling and sleeping and dreaming good dreams and just feeling different feelings al the time and missing someone.
if you are reading this just make one and you'll feel pretty good or maybe not but i sure did not sure why though.

on-screen keyboard

haha my big sis is too funny.cant explain(you know why leahA). anyways im using a on-screen keyboard so i cant really type right now haha. wow im strange more tomorrow. about my time at church. for those of you who actually read this stuff. haha.

today was the one of the strangest days

okayy i went to sleep around 1:30 in the morning so that gave me like 6 hours of sleep.i know the moment i woke up that my dayy wasnt going to be well. at first i wasnt feeling well because i couldnt eat at all. later that day i went to my small g's and i was getting worse my face was like bright pink going onto red haha. and my face was really warm and i didnt know what to do. so anyways as i go to small g's early i did some of my spanish homework and R came to sit beside and i was doing my homework and i swear i totally lost a concentration on my homework that i was doing. and so i had to quit it before i would make a totally big mistake but anywasy i have to go to bed more about it tomorrow.

sleeping almost the whole day

i guess that happens when your up until 3 in the morning reading haha yes i read until then.
i could sleep other than the fact that the night before i only slept for just a litte more than 5 hours crzy huh? yeah that was like basically my day i need to get out more and maybe like get a job.and well maybe go to sleep earlier so i dont sleep the day.well almost.